It’s interesting how transition ignites creativity for me. The desire to share. Transition means change – and therefore it’s easier to share when there are lots of changes going on in life. Secretly I always hope for balance, for stability, yet change is what helps us grow. Rollercoasters aren’t easy, but I think I’m learning to accept that life is more of a constant up and down motion, than a straight line motion. Even in one day, we can be given great news, and a few hours later, someone tells us bad news. Maybe that is how the universe helps us all stay “balanced”.
I often write on this blog about surfacey things, if you will. Just what my training is like, race reports, etc. And I feel like I’ve pigeon holed myself into just writing about that stuff, when there is soooo much more I’d like to write about, i.e just life in general. Sometimes it’s scary for me to share, I’m always nervous about letting people in to “me”. But, just as I learn from others sharing their stories, I want to share mine, in hopes others can learn from mine. I think this is why people love triathlon, or sports in general. There are ups and downs. And we learn from them.
It’s funny, because I’m almost getting used to the up and down motion, and when something bad happens, I think well there’s gotta be something good right around the corner, and when something good happens, I brace myself for the bad.
There’s the day to day rollercoaster, and then there’s the big picture rollercoaster. I think people sometimes are scared of sharing because of what the world might think. Or is this “okay” to share, or is it “not okay” to share. There’s so much in this world about portraying the “right” image. And I think lately, that is what has scared me about the latest part of my rollercoaster.
I remember moving out here to San Diego, CA, Halloween weekend of 2011. I was sad. VERY sad. I had been dating a guy for 4 years, and living with him for 2 1/2. I had recently found out he cheated, and well I thought we were going to move to San Diego together, and it ended up just being me. I struggled with whether to forgive him or not, or to move on. I still cared about him a lot, and I felt like I had spent 4yrs investing in this relationship, that I shouldn’t give up, when he was fighting with every inch of his body to win me back. But, it just so happened, that I just couldn’t do it. I HAD to move on. I knew something wasn’t right. After three months of some time feeling extremely unsettled, especially due to the lack of social life, and no job, I finally got a job at The Active Network. I started making friends, and finding my way. It still wasn’t easy. I had never been so affected by love in my life ever. I always felt like I was strong, and how could an emotion take hold of me so deeply. But, it’s funny how people enter our lives, and suddenly, we forget how sad we were. It’s like all of a sudden we wake up one day and the pain is gone. Just a little under a year after my ex-bf and I broke up. I met someone who changed my life. I wasn’t sure what the purpose would be, but it has been more than I could ever imagine. And no less than a few months after that, I met another person, who has become my best friend. And slowly but surely, good people were entering my life, who I knew were there to stay.
I started to get into the groove at my job, and I had made lots of good friends, who shared the same passion as me…triathlon. We started swim, bike, running together. And life has been good. Real good. I’m definitely an optimistic person, so even during those tough times, I always looked ahead. I was always thankful for the California sun, and the ability to swim, bike, run, outside all year long. I was going on fun adventures with Oakley, as an Oakley Women’s ambassador, and still living life to the fullest. Even though, I was so sad inside, I knew someday that sadness would fade, and my heart would feel whole again. I had made it through that transition and came out on the other side, stronger than ever. And just, how I know that happened for a reason, and I’m better because of it, this next transition I can only see the good that can come.
I don’t talk about my job at The Active Network very much on this blog, but I have really enjoyed working at a company that embodies the active lifestyle. Going to work every day, and seeing people swimming in the pool, biking into work, or going for a run at lunch, it was my dream place to work in. I had a corporate job for the first time in my life, and I was program manager for the wellness department, working with our clients, Starbucks, Disney, and New York Stock Exchange. It has been quite the ride. But, with all things, there comes an ending. It is time to say goodbye, and move on to the next phase in my career, which I’m not quite sure what that holds. I would love to take my passion of social media and do that full time. I have some contract work lined up, but nothing that gives me that full security. Now, everyone is probably wondering, reading this, why is she leaving Active? Long story short, the wellness department is closing at Active, as they focus their efforts on what is the core to the company, Endurance Sports registration. I’m excited for Active, and look forward to seeing them continue to succeed in the endurance market. I guess this is called “being laid off”. And unfortunately there were no internal social media positions available.
Having no security blanket is SCARY. I’ve been there, when I was a personal trainer for 5 years doing my own thing for my company, KTFitness, but I really enjoyed working with others in an office, and working on a team at The Active Network. I love collaborating, and it was such a breath of fresh air when I joined The Active Network. I had security, a social environment, and got to work with other like-minded individuals. I have learned so much. So, this is part of my rollercoaster ride. There’s that thrill when you are going down, and your hands are up, and then before you know it, you are going up again, and excited for the next drop in the ride. I’ve always been one who believes in putting themselves out there, and so here it is. My hands are up and the thrill is there.
So, is transition scary? YES. But, is it worth it? ALWAYS. It gives you a chance to continue making the best of your life. I’m excited to see where this next phase in my journey takes me!